There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
