We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You pole danced in your parka.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
