so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize