carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
