What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ketchup is God's man juice
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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