hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Randomize