I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
