Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
