At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
