Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
