I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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