We're like a lot better than the average bears
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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