I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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