Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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