Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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