apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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