I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
