that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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