I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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