Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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