Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
