i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
