Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
