Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
