it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize