I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
