You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
