pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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