So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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