Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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