Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
