He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yo dont text me then not text me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
