I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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