...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
