Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
