i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
