Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
