i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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