I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The uberlube is also flammable
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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