Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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