Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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