we're blogging at a bar
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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