I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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