her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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