ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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