no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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