I can text with my tongue
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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