from now on my penis is your penis
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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