Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He felt like a one man threesome
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
