dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
