they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
