Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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