Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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