So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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