Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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