she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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