I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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