its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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