i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
